Thursday, December 15, 2016

Olivia Clifford: Final

The Educational Opportunity Fund program is filled with students who are striving for a brighter future, hoping to achieve it through higher education. In my film, I highlighted this idea by interviewing two students, Manisha and Danielle. Both of them discussed what their lives were like growing up in a financially disadvantaged home, focusing on specific memories--both good and bad--and looking brightly toward their futures despite the obstacles they may face.
I chose to focus on EOF students because I myself am an EOF scholar. I grew up in a financially disadvantaged home. There were days I had to skip meals because we didn’t have enough money to go food shopping. We had the electricity shut off on us from time to time because we couldn’t pay the bill yet. We faced a lot of hardships but they never stopped us from living and enjoying our lives. If it weren’t for the financial struggles we faced, my family probably wouldn’t be as close as we are now. Along with that, I probably wouldn’t be as appreciative of what I do have. These are recurring ideals that I discover when I talk with other EOF students and it always resonates with me. The idea that people who don’t have much are still able to love their lives and be grateful for what they do have has always been amazing to me and it was ultimately why I chose to focus my film on EOF students.
When I first began working on this project, I had a big idea in mind for how I wanted to go about filming it. I had hoped to interview at least five people and showcase their experiences in life. However, once I began editing my first interview, I realized fitting in everyone’s story in a four minute film was going to be a lot harder than I expected. I ultimately narrowed it down to two people in order to fit the time limit while still having enough of the interview to make it a compelling video to watch.
Making this film definitely was a challenge for me. I’ve come to realize that even when people are willing to open up, throwing a camera into the mix often causes people to put up a wall, making them hesitant to share certain details about their lives. This was something I had to push through, which I eventually did when I interviewed Danielle, who was open about a time when a their house was broken into while they were home.
Another challenge I faced was editing the film. I realize that the final product is not going to win an Oscar for Best Film Editing, but it does win in my heart, considering this was the first time I ever used iMovie or even recorded an interview with a DSLR camera. I opted to record the interviews with a DSLR camera instead of my phone simply because I wanted the quality to look good and because my phone only records video five minutes at a time. I used iMovie since it was the only video editing software available to me. It was difficult to use, but I soon got the hang of it, even teaching myself some new tricks, such as how to overlap footage and make it split screen.
Along with my tool choices, I also made a few artistic choices in the film. The film is segmented based on what the interviewees are discussing. Throughout the beginning of the video, these segments are separated with a short black fade out. However, the latter half of the video, the film fades to white instead. I chose to do this to signify that their futures ahead of them are bright, no matter the hardships they may have faced.
Overall, this film was difficult to create. The time limit restricted the amount of footage I wanted to use and I did face some issues in the editing process. However, these difficulties forced me to think outside of the box and challenged me creatively. I hope that those who view the film will be reminded that people are not always as they seem. Everyone comes across hardships in their life, especially EOF students, but, despite all of the odds, these students are here at Rutgers, aiming as high as they can.

Artist Statement and link to Project

https://youtu.be/sPhE7FM5G2Y

James Cavallaro
Artist Statement

            A place that I grew up all of my life and where my mom still lives today is in Raritan New Jersey.  But before and after grade school I would also spend a lot of time over my great-grandparents when my mom and dad had to go to work. My educational history includes two years in community college and as of now a semester at Rutgers University. Some of my hobbies include hiking and spending lots of time out doors, but also spend quite a bit of time at the gym working out and trying to better my self athletically. Most of the time when I am lifting weights of hiking I do listen to music and I think my taste in music is to large to say exactly which on has influenced me more than another. Two events that I’ve found impactful was the death of my great grandpa because I learned so much from him when I was younger, and I was young when he passed away, it was hard to believe and very confusing at such a young age.
            At first I wanted to focus on a lot more then I actually got too. But what I did focus on was family specifically my mom and dad and how they impacted my life and me. They taught me life lessons that I will keep for the rest of my life. I focused on things I did when I was younger, the friends I had, and what frustrated and confused me as a child. I noticed that after doing the necessary editing and adding certain effects I started to bring about new ideas that I wanted to include. At first I wanted to include things such as my views on religion, the environment, and current political and societal problems but the realized that was nothing I truly wanted to do. Instead I introduced voice overs of famous celebrities and people that have inspired me and often speak about moral and current issues, to help people better understand events and tragedies that effect many of us.

            My overall vision for the film was to be a auto biography type film about myself and what has molded me into the person that I am today. But what I had planned to do and what I did were quite different as a started filming I realized that I didn’t have enough time as I expected, and which became my main concern that I wont be able to make the time requirement. I used I movie to edit the entire project because it was the only editing software I had readily available. I used a Gopro Hero 2 and two other digital cameras to record all of the shots. With each camera recording at the same time I was about to use only one of the audios recorded on cameras and match it us with the video of the other two cameras. I often myself watch a lot of motivational videos and speeches by inspirational individuals, so when I started filming I was thinking about things that inspired me and made me into the person I am today. While working on the project I began to think about my audience and what they would be thinking while watching it. That’s when I had the idea for the ending I filmed on “What I want people to take away from this video”. I didn’t say as much as I would have liked so I began overlapping the voices of those people that inspired me and showed me how to achieve success in hopes that the audience would understand where I was going with the film. I don’t necessarily think that my film plays any role in a larger contemporary movement and instead its to inform people that what they are experiencing in life is just the experience and that we must take what were given and go with the flow cause it was what was laid out for us.

Life is too short...ATTITUDE: Georgeanne Casper Final



To begin, my video is a representation of the biggest lesson I’ve cultivated from my life experience, through my hardships, through my ups and downs, and my experience through an unconventional, roller coaster of a childhood. I grew up in a single parent home with my mother and brother in a rural area not too far from Rutgers. I experienced life through a middle class perspective. I had everything I needed to be happy, and comfortable. I didn’t have too much and I didn't have too little. Living with just my mother was probably the best thing for me considering my father was not the best role model, he had and still has many behavioral issues such as alcoholism, drug addiction, anger issues, and bipolar disorder. I lived this way, with a single parent, until I was 15 years old when unfortunately my mother passed away from breast cancer, so I moved in with my 81 year old grandfather and at the time my brother 20 year old brother. Luckily my new house was actually down the street from my previous one. Living in a more unfortunate situation really got me to appreciate the little opportunities I was given despite my misfortunes. Also living through others with mental disorders including myself, I took from the situation what I could, like learning to be independent, responsible, and mature at a young age. Despite all the hardships, I was given a lot of opportunity through education & hobbies. I went through high school with my mother in mind and aspiring to explore my potential and not follow my father’s foot steps. With this motivation pushing me forward, I managed to be inducted into National Honors Society as early as possible in my high school. I also learned educational/time management skills through my hobbies, such as dance. Since I was 11, I danced everyday of the week about 5-6 hours everyday, thus making it almost impossible NOT to follow a schedule. Not only did dance teach me time management, it also helped tremendously with my own mental disorders; anxiety, OCD, and depression, which I was diagnosed with in 8th grade. Dance helped with this by pushing my self-consciousness down and just getting up on stage and doing the best I could through having fun rather than perfecting, which is what my OCD would make me do, perfect everything. Dance proved to me that I didn’t have to be perfect, just happy. Each of the misfortunes that occurred in my life taught me lessons rather than hindered my being. I’m not exactly “happy” about what happened, but I’m grateful for the things they taught me.
What I really want to frame in my project is how I handle my anxiety and depression, through little enjoyments. I want to show not only the inside look on mental illness but the things that help me individually with my own mental illness’. These things are super important to me because they’re what kept me here, they’re what got me through the rough patches and I don’t ever want to forget what to be grateful for because for a very long time, I was blinded to enjoyment and rather saw life as a burden rather than something to make the best out of, honestly, not until pretty recently. Not until I made the move to Rutgers University and met people, big and small, that impacted myself is such a way that it’s hard to even believe where my mindset had once been. Simply put, I want to make my final project, a happy one.
The process behind my video had changed and shifted almost each and everyday. At first, I wanted to almost “wing” the moments; walking to class, walking to the bus, sitting down, I would spot things that evoked pleasant feelings physiologically/mentally and simply recording them. Then I had remembered moments that I experience constantly that I normally wouldn't document, these moments I like to believe that everyone must experience at least once in while. E.I. Pouring a morning cup of coffee, opening new makeup, the lighting of a certain scene….anything that brightened my day. I portrayed my pleasant feeling not only through the scenes themselves but the music in the background as well. I like to think that the song I chose is very laid back, casual, and enjoyable but in the most mesmerizing way. I tried to formulate a message with these simple scenes. This message being to “enjoy the little things.” 

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Creative writing project- Jhadai McDonald

SHAPED



ARTIST STATEMENT

Growing up on the island of Jamaica has had a lasting effect on my life. Not only has it shaped the way I see certain things, but it has allowed me to analyze situations and see the underlying meaning they possess. As mentioned previously in my first artist statement, racism is a concept that is not widely used in Jamaica. In fact, it was not until I migrated to the United States that I fully understood what racism is and the effects it has had on large groups of people. This realization is what has shaped my project into what it is now. I am concerned with issues of inequality, women’s rights, and racism and so I at first wanted to do a video on beauty. However, with some thought, I decided to create a film that will reach a wider audience and share a more intricate part of my life with others. This, I hope, will stir up a necessary awakening to people who are complacent in a world filled with hate and prejudice.
In the beginning of my filming process, I wanted to just piece together photographs with music playing in the background. However, this would not have represented my true emotions and so I opted for short video clips and photos. In accommodation with these visuals, I wanted my viewers to hear music that represents how each stage of my life made and continues to make me feel. The first song “Redemption Song” is a piece that I knew I wanted to incorporate from the very beginning because it speaks dramatically against the reality I face in America. Not only was it written and sang by a Jamaican artist, but it speaks to freedom and emancipation.
Originally I desired to only use redemption song and mute the rest of the video after it was
done. However, I realized that “The Star Spangled Banner,” and, the instrumental I played
afterwards adds the drama I need to get my message across. All in all, throughout the development of this project, I have focused on how the viewers will receive the message and
I wanted to kind of guide them at first but then allow them to make their own judgement
about the video.

Final

Please read this before reading my personal statements.
Europe and little Asia’s
All on your pivotal throttle
Your neck cracks every time you
Hear the white noise
And you
Smell the charisma
And you
See my presence
Making you feel so whole
It marked a hole on the wall
Right
Side
Up
Defying gravity.

Ain’t no storms but calamities, yes.
Ain’t no storms but calamities, yes.

Bless. Bless. Bless-
Me with much goodness
Because my decisions been so reckless
And for nights I went restless
Heading to the path of disaster.
What the fuck?
Have I created a monster?

So I look in the mirror and what do I see?
A silhouette of a woman in distress
I can’t quite measure how her body seems deformed,
With no remorse,
I was shot.

Shut.

Like the exit before the detour
With your actions you lure
Me
Into a fantasy
Synonymous with realities
I can’t quite accept yet.

I promise I will shine again.
My light will not go dark
Even when forever, I’ll be marked
With shallow hollows shading the shadows
Of an everlasting loophole.

So tell me, are you afraid of the dark?
~
Before really listening to me,
Remember that what you hear,
And how you’re listening
Is a projecting force from within.
So, bear with me.
Take this to your deepest core.

If you ask me why I am the way I am,
I want you to know that
I have so much fight in me.
If you ask me why I am the way I am,
I want you to know that
I love myself.
If you ask me why I am the way I am,
I want you to know that
I am the way I am.

But
if I had one chance to pray,
I would pray this,
Please bless me, bless me, bless me because-
Here I am, pouring sweat on my body,
But it hurts every time it touches me.
It burns like acid-looking/wax-burning on a candlelight, lit with fire
As if I was made from one,
As if I was made from fire,
As if I was made from one.

As if I carry the ocean waves of tears
Of my ancestors crying for
Not another day where
They had to give little pieces of themselves,
Willingly being robbed or their tongues,
Bear,
To ride the bandwagon of such a white blanket.
White spaces,
White blanket,
White spaces.

Spaces.
No.
My tears speak for how heavy my heart feels.
its weight pushing down my organs trying to find the right ways to escape a body so whole, yet so hollow.
As if I stand a chance.
I can feel their footsteps marching,
Running, crawling,
a smoke of sand blowing everywhere,
Stumbling back home.
No.
Rooted from my veins, my blood-
My blood always find the right points of temperature enough just to boil immediately
as if it was a default setting,
regularly bound to happen.
Like my body is not mine to keep
Every single time someone who does not
Look like me speak.
My blood boils
Ooh
My blood boils.
As if my body was wrapped up,
bonded by the pacific ring of fire.
My blood boils.
No.
On schedule, there was no structure as to how I scrape the walls of my bones
And no, it doesn’t hurt,
And no.
(I mean)
yes,
red alert,
red alert,
red alert,
But not
to then revert
the forbidden tending motion
Of the protection I had
From this
Red
White
Blue
Land of the
Red white blue
Land of the
Free?
Land of the
Red, White, Blue,
Land of the Free?

United Snakes of America,
Land of the free,
Applies to you,
And you,
And you,
But not for me.
One nation
Under God,
Indivisible,
With liberty,
And justice for all
- except if you’re not white.

I will never be enough for you.
No different than the night
of a pot burning on the stove
that daddy left,
that daddy left,
that daddy left,
-daddy left …
me.
I never felt so alone
I was cold,
Then I was told
That you were whole
Once. you did uphold
The standards of what it was like
To be a part of your family.

Daddy,
I knew all along.
Somebody like me will never really be
My skin so brown
My eyes so wide
My hair so black.
My teeth so bright.
I can’t quite find the silver lining.

How could I have been so foolish?
I want to feel the privilege of
Sleeping peacefully
Knowing that racism,
Misogyny,
And
Intolerance will not affect me.

But

I am young
And foolish
Full of ambition

But

I am young
And foolish
Full of ambition
In this country.

Need I say more?
I’m not mad. I just want you to feel what it feels like.
~

My name is Patricia Carla Cortado. My pronouns are she, her, and hers. I am a 21 year old Filipina, an immigrant, a proud EOF scholar, and a Journalism & Media Studies Major with the minor of Gender and The Media and Latinos and Caribbean Studies. I am currently the President of Latin American Womyn’s Organization and the Retention Chairperson running a mentorship program under the Latino Student Council. I am a lover and a believer of loving the self first.
I grew up in the San Juan, Metro Manila in the Philippines. Nine years ago, I immigrated to this country. I have yet to go back and visit. I miss the culture, my family, and everything that took awhile for me to love, only to leave it behind. I went to an all girl Catholic school across the street from an all boy Catholic school. Dominican College was where it was. Aquinas was where the boys were. Together, we made up the most prestigious school in the city.
I have always been the one to play the game by the rules. Growing up, I stayed out of trouble. Now, I still do. Photography and film take up my time. Art, as a matter of fact, has taken up my time and it showed no remorse. To art, I submit. I am all about owning my agency through my art and now through my womanhood. I use it to empower myself and others. I practice that with my burning passion to always let the good times multiply.
Once we moved here, my life has been on autopilot. At my prime femme fatale, I believe that I will be unstoppable.
I am currently in the most important journey that I believe I owe myself- loving myself first. With that, I recognize that I am not alone in the world and that I share a space with everyone and everything around me. Being that, I make sure that my space is well done and inviting of all the goodness in the world. In order to do that, I have to make sure that I have enough love for myself to share the world and its people.
I advocate for learning about our roots so we can be knowledgeable about what paths to take in order to be successful. I advocate for representation in administrative levels of intersectionality of people (inclusion vs diversity). I advocate for people who were kept silent, put down, and let down by the system where we were all set to fail.
My film revolved around all that I believe in,everything I love, everything I am learning to love, and everything I loved.
I plan to make people feel. I believe that if my art can cause even the slightest bit of empathy, I am appreciated and I did my job releasing some type of power through art. I have sporadic clips of what it is like to be in my shoes with the central theme of self-love and what I advocate for. They all tie in together so I will be promoting intersectionality as well. From my experiences, I will show what it is like to be a queer woman of color. It is important to celebrate ourselves every once and awhile. If not that, it is important to honor at least what people are passionate about. Being an activist is not easy when the rest of the word does not believe in some movements we fight for. This is not for me. This is for the future and those who have contributed to my growth.
Different highlights will be shown to create a vision of how these contributions keep me going.
I took clips from exactly a year ago and compiled it to one video journal. This is a year’s worth of my life and what I choose to show. It hits parts like home (Irvington and New Brunswick). Visually, it shows how my life has been changing through the seasons. It highlights different folks who have impacted my life and how the environment did as well. It shows places like New York City, Maryland, Dominican Republic, Canada, Niagara Falls, and some local places too.

Ultimately,  this is the power of owning my own narrative and vulnerability. Welcome to some parts of my life. Enjoy.